On Probation

Before I stress the Ogden Trust out too much let me first say that I haven't been arrested, this post isn't about that kind of probation. When you are given a PhD place funded by a research council (STFC in my case) they don't agree to fund you for three years straight away. Your first year is a 'probationary period' where you are expected to prove that you have the ability to produce useful research and can finish your PhD in a timely fashion. You work for the PhD but if your performance is unsatisfactory in your first year there are procedures in place to allow you to graduate at the end of your first year with just an MPhil (Master of Philosophy) qualification. No pressure!

Most universities have procedures in place so that you aren't left confused for a long periods of time with no formal meeting to allow you to raise your concerns. For MSSL this takes place in a series of panel meetings (as I've already talked about a little in a previous post). My next panel meeting is one of the most serious. At it I have to present the work I've done so far and make the case for continuing on my PhD.

I have been very stressed for the past couple of weeks at MSSL because I've been working on my 9 month probation report that has to be handed in before this meeting. In the meeting I will have to give a short presentation based around the topics covered in my report. Then there will be a general discussion about my progress and how I feel everything is going. The report is due in exactly a month but I'd started early as I really wanted to impress. 

My code is bug free now so while it's running I have lots of time for reading papers and writing insightful narratives about the history of my field. That was the idea. In reality the writing of my 'Magnum Opus' has so far involved my staring blankly at computer screens and incomprehensible scientific gibberish. I understand my field. I think. Just don't ask me to explain anything because I'll say that I don't really understand it all that well - by which i mean that I don't yet understand it better than my supervisor or all the other people that have been working on this stuff for longer than I've been alive. It's very difficult to be so inexperienced sometimes. I'm trying to be intelligent! It's just that my brain translates everything into ideas that I can understand and when I write that down it only sounds vaguely scientific and definitely not impressive. 

I have to keep reminding myself that this is not my thesis. I have an awful lot to say but it is not physically possible to fit everything I know about comets (science-y or not) into 10-20 pages, which is all I'm allowed for this specific piece of work.

The Trevi Fountain in Rome, from my parents holiday photos.
So jealous!

On top of all this stressing my car broke down last week. It only had a flat tyre but I had no idea how to change it for the spare in the boot. My very kind office-mate helped me change it (by which i mean he did most of the hard work and I stood by looking helpless and apologising) but then I had no idea where to get a new tyre or how to get it fitted. I didn't even have a clue how much a tyre should cost (usually between £50-£80 for a reasonably good one for those equally clueless)! I'm ashamed to say that usually my Dad takes care of all these things, but with him being on holiday in Italy for two weeks there wasn't much chance of my contacting him. There also wasn't much point in my calling my usual family garage - as it is 300 miles away! My boyfriend is less than helpful when it comes to anything to do with the car - partly because he's a very 'theoretical' physicist and partly because he's only just started taking driving lessons again, so I was pretty much on my own. In the end I found a garage that would fit a tyre for me. The guy was so nice and made sure that I oil and water were OK too before he let me drive off. I have no idea whether he did a good job or not but the car goes quite happily now and the tyre hasn't yet fell off! I'll keep you posted!

Wish me luck with my probation report! I think I'll be tacking this particular beast for quite a while now... of course rumours abound that some in my year have already finished it!